Sibling Revelry

I am the oldest of three girls.


Here we are last May, hanging out at my parents' house on a pretty Sunday afternoon. There's a more normal-looking version of this photo, but I like the silly one better.

Christina (Chrissy when we were growing up, now Crick, Cricka, or Kina) is on the left in the coral shirt. At about four years behind me, she's the baby. She's tall--nearly 5'11''--and beautiful and really smart. Chrissy and her husband Paul live with their two seriously cute children in a beautiful old farmhouse in southern New Hampshire. They grow pumpkins and beets and occasionally cow-sit for their neighbors.

Meredith (Meri when we were growing up, now Ditty), in the center, falls squarely between me and Chrissy in age. She has this shiny hair that I've always been a little jealous of: corn-silky like my daughter's but such a pretty shade of dark brown. Meredith and her husband Daniel live just ten minutes from my parents (an hour away from me) with their adorable progeny (three, girl-boy-boy, like ours). Meredith is generous and thoughtful and has impeccable taste. I routinely ask her about decorating decisions I have to make, often argue with her answers, and inevitably take her advice in the end. I always regret it when I don't.

And that's me on the right, sporting the green sweater and the myriad wrinkles that have appeared as my face has deflated.

We fought bitterly when we were little. That fact that brings me some comfort when my own kids are being dreadful to each other, because now my sisters are two of my most precious friends. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them, and almost none alone with them. That's why an afternoon with each of them made it on the list.

I wish I had time to detail both outings for you, to recount the relaxed, easy conversations and the more intense moments where we dug into our lives in ways that you can't so much do when you're filling sippy cups and refereeing I-had-it-first conflicts. But here are the basics.

Chrissy and I got together mid-morning on a Saturday afternoon. She brought her family down here with her, and Mark and Paul stayed with the kids so we could have some time to ourselves. We went and checked out the farmer's market in nearby Metuchen, which I had never investigated. It was a fun little spot that yielded some mango-macadamia biscotti, some really nice artisan bread, and something else. Peaches, I think.

We then went into New Brunswick to an Ethiopian restaurant called Makeda. I'd never been there, and it knocked one more new variety of ethnic food off my list. (One more to go! Maybe this week...) I'd recommend it, if you're wondering. We sat and lingered over lunch in the mostly-empty restaurant and talked about some of the hard things of life. There was laughing and there was crying, so from a girl-talk perspective that's a pretty clear win. I like her so much.

Meredith and I went out last night. I brought Joy up her house for a sleepover with her cousins, and we left them in the care of Daniel and my mom and went to an upscale mall. We ate at Smashburger, which I'd never been to and my husband is going to love. We also did the lingering thing, and I ate way more than I intended of the sweet potato fries with rosemary, olive oil, and garlic that we were splitting. I will make my way through many green smoothies before I balance out that evening's indulgences.

Afterwards, we walked around the mall, poked around in H&M, looked in a little gift shop, got some free samples from Godiva, and finally landed in Barnes and Noble, where we picked up a stack of home decorating magazines and then did not read them. Instead, we sat on the floor in the most out-of-the-way spot we could find ("No one will come back here unless they're looking for the Harry Potter Knight Bus Lego Set," we said, but of course someone was) and talked about real life, and our own hearts, for a long time. Then we finished up by splitting a Dulce de Leche slice from Cheesecake Factory. Many, many smoothies.

One thing I loved about these outings was that the conversations went so naturally beyond the things we usually end up talking about: the hazards of parenting, the shifting and often amusing dynamics of our family and our families, and the cluttered details of our lives. Instead, we spent the bulk of our time talking about where our hearts are struggling, what God is doing, where He has been active, and where He has been silent.

I left both conversations...well, stuffed to the gills, for starters. But also feeling grateful for them both, and rejoicing with them, and hurting for them. Life is not easy, and walking with Jesus has some formidable challenges. But that is how it goes this side of eternity, and if we have to wade our way through the struggles, I'm genuinely glad to have these two women to wade through them with me.

If I do the list thing again next year, this is going on it again. Once a year is not enough, but it's a start :)

24 days and counting...